thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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