weddingsv make me drug and hornr
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
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Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
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You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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