just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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