it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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