Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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