thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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