Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine