thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
