if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
