tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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