so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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