lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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