Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
