I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
