Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
do nipples grow back?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
