I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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