If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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