I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
