I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
