I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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