Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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