I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
