I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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