After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
