Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
