Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
