It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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