More tranny stories later!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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