Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Quick, to the slutcave!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
