Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
