oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize