Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
MIDGETS
????
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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