Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

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  (610): Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it. http://tfl.nu/867y
  Replies (16) Good night (1741) Bad night (589)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck

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  (780): Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck http://tfl.nu/npsc
  Replies (13) Good night (2266) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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  (919): Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home http://tfl.nu/42nr
  Replies (59) Good night (2658) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween

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  (845): beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween http://tfl.nu/oes5
  Replies (26) Good night (5867) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
  Replies (25) Good night (726) Bad night (5263)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.

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  (816): Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/rxnt
  Replies (18) Good night (4556) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."

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  (207): She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge." http://tfl.nu/7x8q
  Replies (26) Good night (4311) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.

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  (206): In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/voq5
  Replies (18) Good night (2636) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  your like the ambassador to my penis.

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  (807): your like the ambassador to my penis. http://tfl.nu/t18m
  Replies (8) Good night (1541) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.

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  (812): Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do. (812): Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this. http://tfl.nu/m912
  Replies (10) Good night (1501) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

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  (804): I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for. http://tfl.nu/5fqm
  Replies (2) Good night (1596) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.

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  (817): I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/7tra
  Replies (21) Good night (650) Bad night (1651)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.

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  (202): Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home. http://tfl.nu/5j3k
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work

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  (586): Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work http://tfl.nu/uldi
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.

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  (360): After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today. http://tfl.nu/8j26
  Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (297)

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