Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??

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  (256): There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night?? http://tfl.nu/8e78
  Replies (33) Good night (913) Bad night (2696)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

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  (509): Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint http://tfl.nu/0n30
  Replies (10) Good night (1295) Bad night (4687)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

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  (570): Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now http://tfl.nu/j96j
  Replies (41) Good night (6450) Bad night (1173)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.

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  (770): If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them. http://tfl.nu/edqp
  Replies (9) Good night (4813) Bad night (1090)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

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  (727): it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling http://tfl.nu/kv01
  Replies (6) Good night (2559) Bad night (871)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (785): sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/vv7s
  Replies (8) Good night (2570) Bad night (974)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.

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  (517): someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover. http://tfl.nu/zuyo
  Replies (5) Good night (3175) Bad night (1073)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship

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  (815): Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship http://tfl.nu/xkl4
  Replies (5) Good night (2631) Bad night (1390)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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  (727): at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry. http://tfl.nu/0y0u
  Replies (8) Good night (2575) Bad night (824)
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  (661): View more from California

  fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.

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  (661): fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn. http://tfl.nu/6ro6
  Replies (5) Good night (3338) Bad night (587)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"

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  (612): Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here" http://tfl.nu/wz3j
  Replies (1) Good night (1312) Bad night (326)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids

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  (414): And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids http://tfl.nu/86i1
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (229)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.

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  (678): You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest. http://tfl.nu/fvym
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (255)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends

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  (775): New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends http://tfl.nu/xgyo
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (225)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.

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  (301): You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup. http://tfl.nu/bsru
  Replies (0) Good night (151) Bad night (87)

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