We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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