Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
