maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
