the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
