so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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