I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
