We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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