i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
