I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
