Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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