last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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