He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
