she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
