No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
