I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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