i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
