he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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