Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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