I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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