i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
