So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
