tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.