dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize