you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.