I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16