I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The beer is more important than you right now.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.