He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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