pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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