i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
