Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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