I wish my penis had an off switch
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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