shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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