i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm like, not good at living.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
